Developing the Artistic Eye

Despite widespread belief, design & artistic sensibilities are not strictly about talent. Artistic abilities are all based on skills & skills can be learned. Having artistic talent, like any talent, just makes it easier to learn, but you don't need that talent to learn. It just takes a little bit more effort. In that respect, it's not any different than math or language or sports. Some people get it right it right away; some people have to work a lot harder to get through Algebra 2 or English Comp. A good soccer can become a great soccer player if they practice hard enough. I've seen it happen- I spent six semesters teaching a college studio art class to mostly non-art majors. Something else to keep in mind that artist skills aren't necessarily the same as design. Design is very much at the technical end of the art spectrum as opposed to the more expressive areas of the art world.

Honestly, you're on the right track with looking at other websites & seeing how they're designed. Looking at bad designs can be just as helpful as looking at good designs, because they can show you what not to do. But you also want examples of good design to look at, too. The tricky part is knowing where to look for good designs. For a variety of good web designs, you could start looking at WordPress theme templates. A good number of them of them are quite well done. As you look at them, you'll see the ones that look right to you, ones that don't, ones that are almost there but not quite. Over time, you'll start figuring out ways you'd change the not-quite-there templates to something better & that's when you'll know that you're developing your design muscles, so to speak.

There are also some excellent, excellent books you should check out:

Making and Breaking the Grid by Timothy Samara-- a classic text

Elements of Graphic Design by Alex W. White -- another classic (ooo, there's a new edition of it!)

A Designer's Art by Paul Rand-- an amazing designer & a great book

Thinking with Type, Type on Screen, both by Ellen Lupton -- another great designer & typographic genius (& good typography is an absolute MUST in good web design, what with it being a type-based media & all)

I've got more I would suggest but they're all in storage right now. Those are key, though.

Oh, another one that I've heard good things about but haven't actually read is Graphic Design for Non-Designers by Tony Seddon, Jane Waterhouse, & Rick Landers. It might be exactly what you need to get started!

Good luck!

I do think it has to do with instinct, the best I can think of is to work with your wife as a team.

I've been struggling with the same thing! Using a design framework, such as Boostrap, has helped me, because it already has a nice user interface set-up. Otherwise, having friends or colleagues who can provide feedback along the design process can be useful as well.